Why does parenting have to be competitive? - a rant

 

One thing I have started to realise pretty quickly as a mum is that so many people see parenting as a competitive experience (and those who have been doing so are people who do not know I blog so if you see this it will not be directed at you!).



There are those who want to be the first to do things - weaning, sleeping through the night, staying awake during the day, walking, talking - and those that want their child to be the skinniest or the fattest and, to be honest, I just don't understand why.
Then you have those who have the most expensive pram, or the biggest collection of travel systems, the most toys, the best clothes.
Stupidly I have, at times, allowed this to get me down - I don't have a huge amount of money to get the all singing, all dancing pram, or most expensive toy.
My baby is not ready to wean at 15 weeks (and no she doesn't need hungry milk either) and she is just fine. People ask all the time if I have started to think about weaning. Well no I haven't, milk is serving us just well thank you - and no as hard as I tried I couldn't breastfeed so please stop shoving it down my throat that you can!

Generally Molly still goes out in the pram in the cot and goes off to sleep. This seems to amaze some people who think I should have converted the cot into a pram seat weeks ago now. Is this because I am not ready or she is not ready? Both! She is, after all, only 15 weeks old so there is absolutely no reason for her to be sitting up in the pram seat yet. She likes to sleep during her walks and gets a much better sleep in the pram than in the house. I am not ready because, unlike many people (am I a minority?), I don't want to rush Molly into growing up too fast. These are weeks and months we will never get to enjoy with her again so I want to ensure we enjoy them whilst they last.

Wee Molly won't do tummy time and if she does she normally shoves a fist in her mouth and just lies there. She doesn't lift her head or do push ups but no I don't think there is anything wrong with her and no I won't be rushing her to the doctors to get her checked over. I would have to be plonked on the floor not knowing how to roll over or lift my head so I understand why Molly gets so upset. Yes I try a few times a day in various positions and yes she is getting better at it. I don't need to be reminded that many babies her age have been experts at tummy time for months now.

IMGP5623

I know it is silly to allow this to get to me but sometimes it makes me feel like I am doing it all wrong. Am I being a good mum? Should I crack open the rusk biscuits? Should I force Molly to do tummy time even when she gets so upset? No! I shall just keep at what I am doing. Molly is a happy, smiley, chatty little girl (who hasn't said mummy yet even tho your 11, 12, 13 week old has).

Training Mummy

Training Mummy is a 30 something mum to two beautiful children - a girl born February 2014 and a boy born in October 2015.

6 comments :

  1. Drives me bonkers too. Daniel was always the last in my group of friends for physical development, ie rolling over, getting teeth etc but now he is 19 months he is ahead with speech and the like. They all do things in their own time, and we all find our way with our own parenting styles xx

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have no idea where Molly will be with her development but I feel people are always bragging about things their kids can do which she has no interest in. Certain forums are the worst. One person seems to think her 4 month old is calling her mummy and knowing what that means! I realised I have been causing myself worry and anger by reading these posts and social media messages so much I was questioning my ability to be a mummy. Now I know in doing a fine enough job and I'm letting Molly find her own two feet at her own speed. I don't see the point in forcing her to roll or lift her head on her tummy when her head control is great as it is.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Keep doing what feels right! mine didn't have anything buy milk until 6 months old, they are fine :-) your baby will do whatever they want when they are ready! give them food when you think they need it, mummy always knows best xxx

    ReplyDelete
  4. Awww I can so relate to this! I've also been the other end though where Tia has done something really early or people notice how well she talks and I find I don't want to talk about it, in case people think I'm bragging.
    We do have a couple of expensive prams but they were both sent for us to review, we didn't have such lovely things before I blogged. And I totally agree with the carrycot/weaning. What's the rush? We waited until six months for both :-)
    Just remember, people can be twatts but you don't have to get caught up in it all xx

    ReplyDelete
  5. That's the thing, all children are different but they all get to the same place eventually. Why do people need to get there first?

    ReplyDelete
  6. See I am the same. M rolled as a method of crawling early on, the physio was shocked how early but I didn't want to brag - many people don't consider rolling as crawling so I was fighting a losing battle if I said anything anyways.
    We have spent more on prams than we would have hoped to but now we are expecting no 2 it has worked on fine for us.
    I thought it might stop the older they got but seems to get worse and worse. Let them just be kids!

    ReplyDelete