I want to feel labour!

IMG_0318Since I had Molly by emergency caesarean-section back in February I have longed to feel what labour would be like.

I want to feel the pain of a contraction (although I may have during the induction but I thought it was trapped wind).

I want to know how it feels to push a baby out of me, rather than having it taken out of me.

I want to feel like I did not fail as a mother by having a section (I know this is not the case but I do feel a lesser mum).

I want to feel the joy of having my baby handed straight to me, not 45 minutes later (baby was taken away to be checked before I even got to see her, then was placed in husbands arms not mine).

I want to be the first person to hug my newborn, maybe even be the person who finds out what sex it is first.

I want to look back on the initial few minutes of my baby's birth with joy, not with upset.

I did not realise just how much Molly's birth has bothered me until now. I am sat writing this with tears streaming down my face.

The actual c-section was great. From arriving at the hospital to having Molly I can not complain really. We were relaxed. It was pain free. We sang to the radio as nothing happened with the induction. It was jovial, it was great!

I just feel I missed out. I missed out and you can never get those moments back. Molly was my first born I can't have another first born.

I don't think I saw Molly until she was in her nappy. She was wrapped up and over by my husband who got the first hugs from her family. I went through nine months of pregnancy and didn't get the first hugs!!! I just got to crane my neck and look at one side of her face. She was then taken from my husband and placed in a cot. A cot!!! When her mum was right there wanting a hug she was placed in a cot. I didn't even know where they had put her and stared at the ceiling until one nurse pointed out she was over at the other side of the room. I could hardly see her.

Finally as we were wheeled out of the operating theatre she was placed beside me on my bed. I got my baby at last.

Training Mummy

Training Mummy is a 30 something mum to two beautiful children - a girl born February 2014 and a boy born in October 2015.


  1. I felt similar after I had Daniel; despite him being a 'natural' birth. I think what I took away from the whole thing was that it doesn't matter how your baby arrived; the labour and birth is such a short period of time.

    its the days, weeks, months and years that matter, and the time, attention and love you give Molly.

    That said, I completely sympathise x

  2. We all bring our babies into this world differently, but what matters is that we welcomed this new, beautiful angel into the world. :) You are truly blessed. I just gave birth last month in September and I just can't stop looking at this little bundle of joy. I'm sure you are the same! Also, thank you for stopping by my blog and leaving a such a kind comment. I really appreciate new readers. :)

  3. I think because of birth and then not being able to breastfeed I feel a lesser mum. I know in reality ok not and that Molly is thriving. I didn't realise how much it bothered me but now I am looking at number two it is making me sadder.

  4. They are such wonderful little people who change your life forever. We are eight months on and still I pinch myself to see if everything is really so good!
    Love meeting new bloggers too!
    Nice to meet you. Can't wait to get to know you more.

  5. there is so much pressure on mums to do a whole host of things. As long as she is happy and content that's the main thing xx