Parenting is not a competition!

Let babies be babies

At toddlers the other day we were talking about children's development and I felt relieved to be in company of people who didn't treat parenting as a contest. In fact I have been at this group for a few weeks now and no-one has asked if M is doing this or that yet, of has F rolled over/sat/weaning. It is great. All too often I find myself dreading having conversations with people who will ask if M or F are doing something when comparing them to their children. Nope I am not interested.

It is find to be delighted about how your child is developing. That is great. But not when you compare your child's development to mine. I just am not interested. I have written a similar post before about how parenting doesn't have to be competitive and here I am again feeling fed up of this stupid competition that some parents seem to have. Oddly I have just realised I wrote the post when M was 15 weeks and F is 16 weeks now so seems I can only stand it for a small while before getting annoyed lol.

I actually don't understand it. Why do people want to be the first to wean? To have a walking baby? To toilet train the youngest? Why do parents want to wish away their baby years and have their children grow up fast?

I am a member of a few groups online for both my children and with F (aged 16 weeks) it seems that the majority of parents have started to wean - oh no I correct myself are not weaning but giving food for tastes - starting as young as 12 weeks. Why? I can understand for some that six months is too far away but 12 weeks? Really? "we were weaned at that age and we were fine" is always the reply but they have changed the rules for a reason surely. Everyone seems to be having a race.

With the groups I am in for M is is all about potty training. Of course with them all turning two potty training is something we all need to think about but some have been training for six months or so. The kids are not ready surely if it takes that long. They even say they are still putting on potty every 20 minutes. After six months? I felt I was behind with M but she is now asking to go which is great as she is showing she is ready and means I don't have to hover all the time to try and encourage her to go. If she decided that she doesn't want to be trained then I will not keep at her. They say they might not be ready until 2.5 years in some cases but she can hold her wee for 2-3 hours so I think she could well be there. She also lets me know when she will pee and when she will poo. I don't have time to hover around her to see if she wants to go. If she is the last out of nappies so be it. Thankfully at toddlers all the other mums are of the same attitude so we are not judged. Phew!

M doesn't talk fluent sentences yet. She is so passionate with her talking that she gets far too excited to actually use English bess her. We have worried about it and spoke to the HV last time she was here and she pointed out that she might talk garbage for majority of the time but thats cos she wants to say so much but she can say sentences so there is no worry. We do get the odd one word or often "I fell down", "I'll sit here" but generally it is babble still but I am happy to admit that. I will not say she is saying words when she isn't. I can hear, you can hear we can all work out if she is saying something or not. I don't actually think I give her enough credit for how much she can say as I often watch videos posted online of others "speaking" and I just don't hear it. I hear babble. For M the majority of the time it is just babble. She won't go to school babbling so why worry?

I had to laugh at one update that saw someone state their 10 week old was speaking! Haha. Yup that's right! The thing is this happened when M was the same age. Do people really think babies are talking at such a young age? How do I always end up being in the same forums as all these child geniuses?

Walking was another bug bear. M didn't walk properly until just before 18 months, now she is 24 months she can walk and run. You would never know she had been behind her peers at all. We go to dancing with her and several people commented on how well she kept rhythm and they couldn't believe she had been a late walker. I was glad when she started walking, however, as I was annoyed with the constant questions on was she walking yet!

Sometimes I feel it would be better to turn off the computer and find an isolated island away from people and bring my child up without having to watch the race that people seem to think I want to take part in!

Another one is teeth. Competing over the number of teeth a child has. Really?!?!? Like what do you want me to do, pull them through the gums? Get grip!

Let's just have fun and enjoy our children being children for as long as possible. 

Training Mummy

Training Mummy is a 30 something mum to two beautiful children - a girl born February 2014 and a boy born in October 2015.


  1. Couldn't agree more! I dread going to baby groups because of this...just no need.

  2. Totally agree! I am proud of my children's milestones, but I don't go around going 'my child can talk what can yours do?' It's ridiculous. As for the weaning, that drives me insane too. People need to realise that guidelines change for a reaon, why don't they bloody listen haha xx